deewali ki chutti

It was just another boring day. What? you dont believe me!!!! OK let me admit, it was a very special day as I was planning to book my tickets for the deewali trip. I was searching frantically for any reservation available. I was even prepared to do a break journey. I decided to go via Nagpur as direct reservations were not available. I was hallucinating of me having fun with my childhood friends, my old pals with whom I used to spend my entire summer vacations. I thought of going for a mega shopping with my Maa once I reach home. So, after returning from my imaginary ride to the fantasy world, I mailed my Boss for the leaves and waited anxiously as if a cricket team's captain desires one last single from a tail ender. He called me in the discussion room and started discussing about pending tasks and deadline. I knew at that very moment that this deewali is going to be different. So, after 15 mins of our conversation, I made him happy by saying - "OK, I am not going home".
I am a busy man after all. So what if my family wants me to be there? I am not a gooey person whose only priority is family. No place for emotions here, I have my own goals to achieve, my own tasks to finish, my own ambitions for a good life. Yes, this is what I am, a totally different person. I am not the same boy who cried in the train when he left his home for the first time, I am a matured man now.....
But why am I feeling sick of myself, why I am not able to concentrate on my work, why I don't want to talk to any body. Am I fooling myself? If not, then why my eyes are looking like niagra falls?
All these things pointed to my helplessness as a human being who is so badly trapped that he can't even think of doing things which he likes.
Jeene ke liye socha hi nahi , dard sambhaalne honge....